Written By Breigh, – Official Contributor of The Crowned Series
This post is for my “new year, same me” folks. No shade, but if 2020 has taught us anything, it’s that we can’t stay the same. We can’t move the same. Think the same. Be the same.
I get it– the idea behind “new year, same me.” It’s this tendency and deep desire to have a sense of constancy… a sense of consistency. Because so much in the world around us is constantly changing, we desperately try to hold on to some sense of sameness.
But truth is, as humans… we are meant to evolve.
You may recognize evolution as the concept some white guy came up with that told us we came from apes. I’m still pretty skeptical about that premise, but I think Charles Darwin was onto something.
The theory of evolution is based on the idea that all species are related and gradually change over time. As humans, that is especially true… Let me give you an example.
We go through so many phases of development and growth throughout our life– from a literal egg to a fully functioning, independent being with thoughts, opinions, body parts, and abilities.
We know that we physically change and evolve, but why is it hard to grasp onto and accept that our thoughts, emotions, behaviors, personality, and ways of being evolve? What’s the luxury of staying the same? What’s the benefit?
I think as a community, we’ve been socialized to prioritize “staying true” or “staying down” rather than prioritize growth. We hate to hear from someone that we’ve “switched up” or that we’re “too good” for things that we used to accept and tolerate.
We’re so obsessed and fixated on feeling accepted that we stay stagnant– we stay stuck in the same thought patterns and behaviors because dealing with what’s familiar feels better than the uncertainty that lies ahead if you “switch up” or change.
I remember writing in so many people’s yearbooks in high school “keep being you, don’t ever change.” What does that even mean? I quickly learned that my advice to my high school peers was not only ill-informed, but limiting. Yes, there may have been qualities about those people that I admired and wanted them to keep throughout their lives… but the very essence of that statement is not conducive to ultimate growth, enlightenment, and fulfillment.
It’s perfectly okay, acceptable, and necessary for you to switch up. It’s perfectly okay, acceptable, necessary, and (scientifically supported) for you to evolve.
But evolution doesn’t just happen. There’s some intentionality that comes with it.
If your environment is the same, you will most likely move the same.
If your thinking is the same, you will most likely move the same.
So, we have to be intentional about being present with ourselves and realize when environments, thoughts, relationships, behaviors no longer serve us. Just because you’ve done something for a decade, doesn’t mean that you have to continue that for the rest of your life.
Just because you’ve thought a certain way for most of your life, doesn’t mean that you have to think that way forever. When you gain new insight, information, or experience something differently that broadens your horizon, it’s okay to change your mind.
This has been an extremely hard, but valuable lesson for me throughout my life. I’ve always felt this sense of pressure to be who and what people expect me to be because of how I’ve shown up historically. But in reality, people’s expectations of me are about them, not me. And people’s expectations of me are limiting.
So, now the “you’ve switched up” is followed with less guilt and more gratitude. That’s a compliment to me and a reminder that I’m giving myself a chance to be better– to elevate.
Stop fighting change. Stop fighting evolution.
Because as we know, the world around us will continue to change and you don’t want to be left behind.
Let’s go with the flow and evolve in 2021.
Blessings to you in this new year.
– Breigh, Official Contributor of The Crowned Series